Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Garden Hose'll Do, Right?

I'm seriously contemplating never bathing my kids again and just hosing them off in the backyard. I think it would work. Spray em til they're soaked. Rub em down with soap and spray them off again. And since we live approximately 50 feet from the earth's center (being as it is sooo HOT here) they could air dry in like 1.3 seconds so no towels needed. Perfect plan I say.


Why am I contemplating this you ask? Well, you see I cleaned poo out of the bath water again tonight and that makes it about 3 times (and that's 3 times too many) in the last several months that I've had to clean POO out of the BATH WATER that my darling little crapheads (and I say that with all the loving affection in the world) were supposed to be innocently playing in with their bath toys, not relieving themselves of their digested lunch. Ick, I know too many details in that last sentence, sorry.


Oh and let's not forget the time last week when they decided it would be a fantastic idea to get every towel I owned out of the bathroom closet and stick it in the bath with them. Oh but they weren't finished yet, they then threw each and every towel back out of the bath onto the floor. You know those towels soaked up all the water except maybe an inch which was now covering my bathroom floor. Oh well, it needed to be mopped anyway. Just trying to see the bright side here.



So, I've decided no more baths...



16 comments:

The Farr's said...

You crack me up! So funny! So twins really are double trouble, huh?

Stacey said...

Oh yes, Beth, and sometimes it seems more like triple and quadruple the trouble. But it's worth it.

Nurse Heidi said...

ROFL! Only because Rachel had a poop in the tub thing going for a while. Mostly when she was pretty little - 1 1/2 or 2 tops. I'd invariably get both of them settled nicely in the tub only to hear Ethan shrieking within a minute or two and find him straddling the sides of the tub and hanging on for dear life to avoid touching the poo water. Rachel still cheerfully swimming around, oblivious to the grossness of the floating log... Mmm, parenting. Isn't it delicious?

Kate said...

Charlotte only pooped in the tub once and man it scared her to death. It was hysterical! Handy bath toy suggestion--a collander. Rest assured that since the poop incident it will never set foot in the kitchen again.

I think your outside bath thing could work. Do it!

Stacey said...

Heidi, the image of Ethan scaling the sides of the bath while Rachel is still in the water had me literally laughing out loud! So funny! Ah yes, parenting is such a glamorous thing.

Kate, funny enough they did have some little toys that were like miniature colanders but in my fit of frustration last night I threw every single bath toy away. I was tired of bleaching the dang things so out they went.

I totally don't understand why they are still pooping in the bath! Seriously frustrating. And they do freak out when one of them poos and start screaming for me. I rush in but it's always too late. Sigh.

rubyjade said...

Ooooh maaaaan! I hated poop in the tub! I'm so glad my kids are out of that stage now. I don't know why they would never poop in the toilet BEFOREHAND.

My kids get the entire bathroom floor soaked when they have their baths, so I just grab a towel, and sop up the water. I consider it being "mopped". It works.

Lacey said...

I think hosing them down for bathtime is pure genius!

Amy S. said...

Poop in the bathtub! Aak! We've definitely been there, done that. I hope, for your sake, they grow out of it soon. :)

Stacey said...

Why thanks Lacey!

Amy, for their sake I hope they outgrow it soon. Seriously. Poop has become too big a part of my life lately. I'm so done with poop. And I'm saying this just after I cleaned up Lexi after pooping in her big girl panties. AHHHHHHHH. Okay, I feel better now.

Amy said...

I just did this with Avery a month ago..at least the kids are solid :)
Oh and I am laughing that I am the only one who picked up on you saying "crapheads"... Are you sure they didn't get "icky crap" from their mama! JK - Love ya

Brits said...

Ugh Ashlyn did that once. It was disgusting.

And LOL Thanks to you my husband will be ready to go for the next year.

Zonnie said...

Stacy! Ok you've got me hooked! I am now a fan of your blog after only one visit! I am glad to know that I am not the only mother out there that has had to have such horrible things in her bare hands & that my child is not the only one who has pooped in the tub..the things that other parents didn't but should have warned us about!!

Jeff & Sonnet Boulton said...

Sadie is actually going through a stage where asking her to take a bath is like asking her to go bunjee jumping - I think it is the same reason, she has pooped in the tub previously. sooooo fun!

Brits said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brits said...

You MUST go to this link! It doesn't take much imagination though.

http://www.sfwriter.com/2006/12/what-gfuck.html

(I deleted the last one, 'cuz the link wasn't very pretty).

Katie Richards said...

I think it is the most brilliant idea ever! You are a genius!

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